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The Chemical Reaction of Marriage

October 8th, 2008

Focus Text: Proverbs 5: 15-20 (NLT)

15 Drink water from your own well—
      share your love only with your wife.
 16 Why spill the water of your springs in the streets,
      being intimate with just anyone?
 17 You should reserve it for yourselves.
      Never share it with strangers.

 18 Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
      Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
 19 She is a loving deer, a graceful doe.
      Let her . . .  satisfy you always.
      May you always be captivated by her love.
 20 Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman,
      or be intimate with a promiscuous woman?


Stop Here and Reflect Before Reading Ahead

Marriage is filled with surprises.  Adjustments.  Unexpected changes.  Two lives– separate and distinct from each other– melt together until the day comes (sooner than you expect) that you can barely remember life without the other.  Trust me, I know the strange and wonderful sensation of pre-marital amnesia.  

In science, we learn that there are two different types of reactions: chemical and physical.  A physical reaction refers to mixture of two separate substances in which the two still retain their previous properties. For example, mixing salt and pepper together doesn’t change either of them.  Sure, it would be a major pain to try to meticulously sort through the miniscule grains of salt and pepper, but it could be done. They could become salt and pepper again if someone was really motivated to make it happen.

But a chemical reaction can never be undone.  If you mix flour, water, sugar, and other ingredients together to make a cake and then you bake these ingredients, a chemical change has occurred.  You can never again extract the separate parts from the cake.  They are forever changed and forever enjoined together.

Chemical reactions sometime require outside energy to make them occur or to speed them up.  These outside influence are known as catalysts.  Furthermore, chemical reactions sometime give off heat or light called exothermic energy.  Catalysts make the chemical reactions happen and exothermic energy results from this reaction.  Hold on, my science-deficient friends.  We’re going somewhere.

Marriage, by God’s design, is a chemical reaction.  Two lives brought together in marriage can never be fully separated.  Sure, they can divorce or separate physically, but remnants of each other will always remain in their separate lives.  Marriage is serious, wonderful business.

This passage is a blatant description of what marriage should and should not be, especially concerning the issue of sex.  Sex, you see, is the scientific variable that makes marriage so cataclysmically different from other relationships.  It is like the catalyst that speeds up the chemical reaction between two lives, assuring that the two separate individuals are forever connected to each other.  Sex is more than just a physical act; it is designed by God to be the “heat” of the reaction between a husband and wife.  You might want to loosen your collar a bit, you seem a little flustered.

Look, do we really need to act shy about this issue?  We live in a sex-saturated culture.  Sex sells everything from herbal shampoos to Hardees’ hamburgers.  As this passage reveals, it is healthy to understand the nature of God’s design for sex in our lives; as well as what He never intended it to be. Just imagine the irreversible “chemical reactions” going on the lives of so many who flippantly give themselves sexually to a variety of people.  The passages proceeding this one have already listed the physical dangers of such a lifestyle, but what about the spiritual consequences of “being intimate with just anyone?”

If we continue reading, though, we also find the joy of two individuals completely joined together in faithfulness and fidelity.  Blessing.  Rejoicing.  Love.  Satisfaction.  Constant captivation.  Wow, now that sounds better than any Nicholas Sparks movie I’ve ever seen!  

Marriage cannot be reduced down to just sex; that’s the point– there’s so much more involved in a the inseparable life of a married couple that sex is but another crucial component of a lifelong love that can never be sifted apart.  The combination is permanent.  The love is captivating.

Many of you may read this and instantly feel the guilt and weight of your sexual mistakes.  You are wondering to yourself, “I’ve already destroyed my chances; why even try anymore?  I’m broken.”  To you, I extend a truth about God.  Unlike science, there are no laws that limit the power of the Creator.  He created science and He created you.  Your mistakes do not limit His grace and they do not tie His hands so that He cannot cleanse you, set you apart as good as new, and prepare your path to intersect the one He is preparing for you.  

Jesus’ hands were nailed so that God’s hands would never be tied.  They freely extend to us an offer to start over again from scratch and to undo the chemical reactions of our sin.  And the energy that our lives and our marriages emit– the spiritual exothermic energy– will be a light that leads others to same grace that has made us new in Him.

So, heed the wisdom of the ages and commit the “heat” of your marriage to God now.  But I’m not even married?  Doesn’t matter, your spouse exists somewhere and you must begin living now for what has been prepared for you then.  Remember, sex is serious business with life-changing ramifications.

Let your life be changed now before you let your life be changed forever.  Be a miracle of modern science!



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